Mar 24, 2009

I've become an adrenaline junkie....


My heart is pounding....palms sweaty.....breathing erratic.....
The moment of truth has arrived and the excitement is overwhelming!  I've been preparing all week for this and finally, here I stand. With glassy eyes and knees knocking nervously, I step forward......Its my turn.

"What is she about to do?" you might be wondering....."Skydive???? Run a marathon???? Bungee jump?"

No my friends.
It's none of these things.

What I'm about to do....
Is....
buy groceries.

Try not to be too disappointed. There is a bit more to the story than just that. Here is the reason...
The reason is......
I have become a crazy, obsessed, compulsive coupon clipping freak nerd.  
Yes...friends......I"m one of  'those' people.
The people who clog up the line at the grocery store because they have a coupon for every single item in their cart and then hassle with the checker over pennies. The people who have the annoyingly huge envelope packed with coupons who stop every few steps to sift through the hundreds of little scraps of paper in order to save 25 cents.
I have become one of them.
It is nearly as time consuming as my real job and so seriously fun that I can't even write about it without smiling.....
My family teases me. My kids harrass me. I have
 to carry an extra large purse to accomodate my giant coupon holder.....but ......I'm saving a butt-load of money and I get something for free almost every day. Let me repeat that, I get something for free almost EVERY DAY!

I have no shame.

Of course, couponing at this level comes with a bit of a learning curve and some embarassing moments......
It turns out that returning your large order of groceries and re-buying them in order to use a coupon is irritating to safeway cashiers.
It also turns out that trying to use a $1 coupon on a 97 cent bar of soap can cause a near riot situation at wal-mart.
Oh well.....I'm ok with it. I'm also pretty comfortable with knowing that nobody really wants to come to the store with me anymore.  Clearly they don't embrace the rush of adrenaline that comes with getting 25 bottles of free shampoo. (Yes, I really did do that!)

So, all I need now is a sweet pair of 'mom jeans', a sweatshirt with a kitty on it ,a nerdy haircut and a minivan....and I'll have captured the whole look. (see example below)

But of course, I can't get those things......
                               .......until I have
                                     .......a coupon to buy them with!





11 comments:

Joey Veltkamp said...

I LOVE this about you!

Kelli Rydeen and Family said...

I was giggling reading your post. Of course I was thinking (as I tend to do when I see how excited people get) I bet I could do that. I might even already have the sweatshirt with the kitty cat on it (a gift I am sure came from one of my kids) and give this whole coupon clipping phenomenon a try. Hey that's how I got into running and triathlons, seems only natural that the next adventure would be coupon clipping. I will let you know how I do...of course like my diet, I will start Monday.

Kelli

Kim said...

The other key I have found that after the coupon clipping you actually have to bring the coupons to the store. I'm still working on that one. I like the idea of the "coupon purse". You might be onto something here!

XO

blended by grace said...

25 bottles of free shampoo???? WOW, that is inspirational! I seriously hope I run into you at the store again so I can see how you do this...I just won't get in line behind you :)

Amy said...

I am currently employed as a grocery checker (and that's OK). I love it when people hand me a stack of coupons. I like to watch the customer's face as I scan in each coupon and the total reduces by 50 cents, then 35 cents, then ohmygawd a whole freakin' dollar! If I have time, I add excitement by scanning them in order of amount, low to high. I get high-fives, awesomes and sweets all the time. Simply put, coupons make me look good at work. Lip gloss does, too.

jessithompson said...

I want to hear your coupon clipping tips. Maybe a Top 10 list of sorts. Sharing some of your wisdom. Love the post! :)

Anonymous said...

You can have your coupon-craze, but please, oh please, no mom-jeans!! I'm begging you!! With all the money you're saving on shampoo, you can buy real jeans!! A true friend tells you these things!! : ) -Laura

Anonymous said...

You can have your coupon-craze, but please, oh please, no mom-jeans!! I'm begging you!! With all the money you're saving on shampoo, you can buy real jeans!! A true friend tells you these things!! : ) -Laura

Heidi Ann said...

Cricket, I am about to go to bed, but am just sitting here laughing! I can just see you in that line at Walmartwith your coupons!! :)...LOve yOu, Heidi XO

akbyrd said...

You are the master. I can hardly wait to ride in your new minivan....once you find the coupon.

Big people, Little world said...

Colleen,
Uncle Dan thinks the only thing worse than the long line with a coupon clipper, is someone who is still writing checks and has to dig in her purse and stand and write the whole thing out!! Of course he also thinks I SHOULD be using coupons, like back in the good ol' days when I did. You MUST share your tips with all of us faithful blog readers! Loved the free quizno's sandwich, keep em comin'. I think it's a good thing you have a huge basement, because you can start your own warehouse like Costco with all your stash! Love you sweetie, maybe you'll be able to feed us all for free at the lake this summer!XO Aunt Terri