Mar 24, 2009

I've become an adrenaline junkie....


My heart is pounding....palms sweaty.....breathing erratic.....
The moment of truth has arrived and the excitement is overwhelming!  I've been preparing all week for this and finally, here I stand. With glassy eyes and knees knocking nervously, I step forward......Its my turn.

"What is she about to do?" you might be wondering....."Skydive???? Run a marathon???? Bungee jump?"

No my friends.
It's none of these things.

What I'm about to do....
Is....
buy groceries.

Try not to be too disappointed. There is a bit more to the story than just that. Here is the reason...
The reason is......
I have become a crazy, obsessed, compulsive coupon clipping freak nerd.  
Yes...friends......I"m one of  'those' people.
The people who clog up the line at the grocery store because they have a coupon for every single item in their cart and then hassle with the checker over pennies. The people who have the annoyingly huge envelope packed with coupons who stop every few steps to sift through the hundreds of little scraps of paper in order to save 25 cents.
I have become one of them.
It is nearly as time consuming as my real job and so seriously fun that I can't even write about it without smiling.....
My family teases me. My kids harrass me. I have
 to carry an extra large purse to accomodate my giant coupon holder.....but ......I'm saving a butt-load of money and I get something for free almost every day. Let me repeat that, I get something for free almost EVERY DAY!

I have no shame.

Of course, couponing at this level comes with a bit of a learning curve and some embarassing moments......
It turns out that returning your large order of groceries and re-buying them in order to use a coupon is irritating to safeway cashiers.
It also turns out that trying to use a $1 coupon on a 97 cent bar of soap can cause a near riot situation at wal-mart.
Oh well.....I'm ok with it. I'm also pretty comfortable with knowing that nobody really wants to come to the store with me anymore.  Clearly they don't embrace the rush of adrenaline that comes with getting 25 bottles of free shampoo. (Yes, I really did do that!)

So, all I need now is a sweet pair of 'mom jeans', a sweatshirt with a kitty on it ,a nerdy haircut and a minivan....and I'll have captured the whole look. (see example below)

But of course, I can't get those things......
                               .......until I have
                                     .......a coupon to buy them with!